Favorite Things

Written by: Angel Lu

An image of young Angel and her brother

There comes a time every so often when I realize I know nothing. While I’m close to finishing the first quarter of my life, I still feel more connected to the unconscious feeling of a toddler rather than a mature adult. But as I’m pushed into the mind of a teenager without the reins that directed me as a kid, I find myself searching for security in what I love.  I look through media, extracurriculars, activities, and the people around me — finding something I can call my favorite, so when someone asks who I am, I have an answer. Even if it sounds like a plan of total assimilation, I’m not only copying what I look at outwardly, but also simultaneously searching inward and finding out why I like what I like. 

While going through my favorites, I recognized countless things I’ve identified myself with. Like how my favorite color is still all of them, my favorite number is still two, and my favorite weather is still rain. Some things never change, and I find comfort in the privilege of that certainty to always have an answer. However, I know that the things I like aren’t set in stone, and they shouldn’t ever be. I remember repeating “I don’t know” over and over again when I got asked these questions, thinking I didn’t have individuality because I didn’t know what to label as my favorite Avenger. Looking back, I didn’t need to confine myself to one favorite thing. My indecision acts as a freedom, liberating myself from a single idea so I could focus on the ability to look at everything I’ve recognized and just say it’s something I love. Whether other people find it interesting or strange, the only thing I concentrate on is my own connection with what I like.

The ability to love is a gift to enable self-expression. All of my favorite things make up who I am: my favorite clothing store, songs, movie characters, and memories. Those extensions can be used to improve myself and, in turn, influence the world for the better. My views and how I express myself might change, but they still exist, because underneath it all is still the same base that's carried me through every bad and good day. 

Inevitably, being too old for immaturity and too young to have gravity, we go through a rough period of development. The time spent as a teenager is eventful and quick; students go through the same feelings, but experience them so differently. The world will change, including ourselves and our favorite things. Some become unrecognizable, and some will be remembered just the same. Even if the things we love change from time to time, we’re still not so different from who we were born as, because “despite everything, it’s still you.”

Citations

Undertale. Toby Fox, 2015, PC.